Gaga Over A Girl
by missblithe
Summary: AU You’ve experienced girl crushes before. You’ve dreamt about lesbian encounters. But when you decide to take the plunge and make your fantasy become reality – does that make you a lesbian? Malex.
1. Chapter 1

Gaga Over A Girl

**Gaga Over A Girl**

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Well you know, the same old I don't own The O.C. The characters belong to the rightful owners. Blah blah blah.

Summary: You've experienced girl crushes before. You've dreamt about lesbian encounters. But when you decide to take the plunge and make your fantasy become reality – does that make you a lesbian?

A/N: It's going to be a short fic.

Chapter 1

Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw my boss, Rachael Hoffman strutting past the white Formica desks greeting the editorial staffers with a curt nod. Swiftly, I back paged out of a fan fiction site, and soon I found myself peering hard into the computer screen of a previously saved draft article. She made her way over to my desk, her heels making a _clacking_ sound - which I found fucking irritating.

_Who am I to comment? I wore heels myself. _

Rachael stood in front of my desk probably waiting for me to finally notice her presence. I counted to three before lifting my head to see her smiling warmly at me. I arched my neatly trimmed eyebrow.

"Yes?"

"Hard at work?" she asked good-naturedly. I took a fleeting glance at my colleagues – some were giving me the green-eyed looks (boohoo, sucks for you I'm friends with her) while few of the perverted males' eyes instantly glazed over and I automatically know it's because they were hearing the _"do-wacka-wacka"_ of cheesy porn music in their head. See, Rachael is a girl-loving girl, and apparent me + her ultimate girl-on-girl action fantasy of the corrupted minds of my males colleagues.

_I must admit it's kinda flattering._

"As always," I answered. Well, don't judge me and label me as a slacker for that short indulgence of fan fiction a while ago. I was swamped with work that I preoccupied with for a three-hours straight. "You know me, the more outputs I manage to churn out, the more inputs I received…" I trailed off with an impish grin, "…meaning promotion and salary increment of course."

"Well aren't you discreet," she teased. "I made a promise a week ago, that if you hand me a top-notch article – one that doesn't have 'How To Lose 3 Inches of Your Waist in Seven Days' like the ones your workmates produced, the junior editor Features position is yours."

I held out my little finger. "Pinky swear on me," I said in a mock serious tone. Cocking her head to the side, Rachael pretended to ponder for a moment. She raised her pinky and twisted with mine.

"You've got yourself a deal."

"Great. Well I better continue with my work," I stated as I reach for the mouse.

"Good. I'll be looking forward to your article." I nodded her off.

Moments later as I sat contemplating, on which draft seems better, my cell vibrated. I muttered a curse as it disturbed my train of thoughts. I flipped the phone and press the read button to see my boss's text message.

_8pm tonite at Cip? Wanna tell you how my lady date went last night. ___

A smirk tugged the side of my lips as I replied okay and added a smiley face next to the word. I put my phone aside as I direct my attention to my work. I exhaled a huge sigh. "Screw it. 30 Things Men Envy About Us, it is," I mumbled to no one in particular.

I waited for inspiration to struck, but it never came. Staring at the clock, I'm left with another couple of hours before I could call it a day. Knowing that I'm ahead of the deadline, I decide to unwind a little as I clicked on the Safari icon on the dock at the bottom of my computer screen. Once I was on the Internet, I searched for a website which I've bookmarked. Seconds later I began reading a Gossip Girl fan fiction – I'm all for Blair/Serena subtext.

_I'm straight._

And then it hit me. My girl crush on Leighton Meester, my fantasy of what it's like to kiss a girl.

_Pssh, forget about kissing. It's so PG-13._

Okay I must admit this, even if it's kind of embarrassing for me – have you ever woken up from a hot and steamy dream only to realize the person you were engaging in the sexual encounter with was, in fact, a girl? I know I have. Not once. But numerous times. Uncountable. And even if it was just a dream, I felt very real. It was like I could feel myself reaching that high and it has surround sound and everything. Yes that, wait, where was I again? Oh yeah, the article. Gently, I raised myself off the plush seat and made a beeline to Rachael's office, past the lingering stares of my coworkers. Her door was open but out of courtesy, I knocked on the door to make my presence known. Rachael lifted her head, and I could spot the slight frown on her forehead.

"Can I?" I raised my eyebrow.

Rachael gestured me to take a seat. I made my way, as I felt a smirk formed on my face.

"I have the perfect story. I think it will interest you."

"You have my attention."

"When did you first realized that you're a lesbian?"

_Yeah, random, I know._

Rachael seemed taken aback as she shifted in her seat. "Wha…what does it have to do with your story?" she croaked.

"Was it when you harbor a girl crush on one of your girlfriends? Or that you've realize it wasn't just an innocent girl crush when you found yourself staring at her butt thinking _damn_ _she's hot, I wanna do her_? Or was it when you decide to take the plunge and make your fantasy of having a lesbian encounter into reality?"

Rachael stayed silent as she mulled over on what I've just said. "Let me get this straight, your story has something to do with women being confused over their sexual orientation because they've been having more than friendly thoughts about another woman?" Before I could even reply, she interrupted me with an outburst. "I like it! Get to work with that one."

"I need your help though," I stated.

"What kind of help?" And then realization dawn on her. "You want me to share my coming-out story?! To thousands of readers?! What?! No! Are you crazy!" It was more of a statement that a question.

"It's going to make my work seem more solid. Rachael, I don't have any experiences with women. I've never kissed one, let alone have sex with one. The only thing I've experienced is a girl crush. That's it. I need your inputs." I reached over for her hand. "I need you to tell me your coming-out story." I finished with a pixyish grin.

She waved her hand off. "Alright fine." I beamed at her answer. She's pretty easy. "But only if you could get other women to share their stories."

"That wouldn't be a problem. I have my sources."

&

"Why can't you ask me about shoes?" Summer crowed as she flings her arms up.

I gave her a _duh _expression. "Because shoes are shoes."

"Yeah, but women go gaga about shoes too," she countered.

"But it's shoes." I stared defiantly at her. "C'mon. I'm sure you have experience a girl crush before. Or, maybe, you've even fantasize about a sexual encounter with a chick. Or, maybe, when you're flipping through magazines and found yourself staring at-"

"Enough!" Summer interrupted me. My petite friend breathed out a huge sigh. "Okay, fine, I have."

I smiled. "Have what?" I posed.

"I have a girl crush before."

"You did? With who?" I smirked at Summer's annoyed expression.

"A girl."

I rolled my eyes. "Duh. Give me a name."

"You." I did a double take on that. Did I just heard it wrongly?

"Me?" I let out a chuckle. "You serious?" I giggled at her, shaking my head at the thought.

"Yes you. I have a crush on my BFF."

I stared at her amusedly. "When?"

She started busying herself washing the dishes again. "Erm…I dunno. Maybe about a year ago," she let out softly.

"Really? Hmm…who would have thought you have a girl crush on me."

"I know. It came as a surprise." Summer halted her movements and turned around to face me. "What's not to like about you. You're everything I've want for a partner." She when on, "You're sensitive, a romantic. We share the same taste in music and films. When I'm down you're always there for me. You don't mind me yapping non-stop, I know a lot of people would be turnoff by that." She wiped her hands dry with the kitchen towel. "I like that you're a pushover – which means I can I have my way with you." I snickered.

"And don't get my started with your quirky habits."

"Please don't. You've opened up a lot." I grinned. "Thanks though."

"Well, what are friends for."

Then I became aware of something. "Why did you stop crushing on me?"

"Well, y'know. According to the stars, Leo and Pisces isn't a compatible match." I laughed at her answer. Summer have fails to start her day without reading the horoscopes.

I caught the time on my watch and stood up. "Hey, I've got to make a move."

"What now? But the cookies are not ready."

"Erm, I'll come back for it after my book club."

"Fine. Go to your stupid book club."

"It's not stupid," I retorted.

"Is to. You're about to meet a group of women talking about the romance novel of the month. What was it this month? Jude something."

"Jude Deveraux's Holly. And her books aren't stupid."

&

I was making my way through the narrow staircase of Anna's apartment building when my cell rang. I fished for it in my leather satchel. I screened the name of the caller only to find out it was my BFF.

"Yes, Summer," I drawled.

"I suggest you sleep with a woman."

_Say what? How random is that?_

"Huh?"

"In order to be a better writer, you must go through some experiences. In this case, you need to sleep with a girl." Then she hung up.

"Okay…weird."

But it makes some sense, I guess.

_Hmm…_


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for reviewing this fic

A/N: Thanks for reviewing this fic. Btw, in this update you'll get to know who's POV it was in the previous chapter.

Chapter 2

I've been a closeted romance novel reader. When I reached puberty (at the age of thirteen), my teacher gave my class the infamous sex education talk and the next thing I know I was more curious about sex than I ever had been. I remembered it was the trip to the nearest bookstore – which was probably a life altering moment. I've always headed to the young adults section in the bookstore, deciding between the latest Judy Blume's titles or whatever book that was on discount. But somehow that day, as I was reading the synopsis on the back of the book, my eyes wandered over to a lady so engrossed with the book she held closely to her chest. I realized she was standing in the romance section – probably the one person there. Somehow, I was compelled to dump the Judy Blume's book back on to the shelves and head over to there. But being young and _innocent_, I was too embarrassed to do so, so I waited and waited and waited for the lady to leave. Finally around half-an-hour later, my prayers were heard.

Swiftly I made my way to the section, I tried keeping a low profile and everything – when I reached to the shelves, I randomly picked one of the romance title before heading back to the young adults section. Once there, I choose an A4-sized book, flipped to the center, promptly I placed the romance title (_Her Loyal Bodyguard_) – believe me, my eyes almost fell off the sockets when I saw the cover and read the title. Before I know it, I was hooked. Seriously, what's not to like about the romance novels – it has a typical girl is depressed start, girl meets hunk, girl sleeps with hunk, and then the plot thickens, lastly, the happy ending. It was a good mix of agony, ecstasy, elaborated illustration of sexual scenes…it broadened my horizons.

Oh, don't get me started with what happened when I paid for the book. Let's just say, I still have it implanted in my head the look that the cashier gave me.

Now, probably you're wondering how I ended up joining a romance novel book club? Even if you're not interested, I'll tell you anyway. Since that day onwards, I've became an avid romance novel reader. A closeted one I might add. No one knows about my hobby, truthfully I felt ashamed about it. It all changed a year ago when I was at Barnes & Noble, reading a copy of _Let Sleeping Rogues Lie (_with a very suggestive cover), so I slid it into a Paulo Coelho's. I was so into the material that I jerked when I said a woman whispered, "You're not the only one. I read romance books too." That's how I met Taylor Townsend, who ultimately convinced me to join a book club. Why? "So you could share your thoughts with others openly, and not be ashamed of it," she claimed.

So that was how I ended up at the front of Anna's door. She's a stereotypical East Village artiste (with her CBGB shirt and tight jeans). Except for the interest in romance novel, which she still keeps a _hush-hush_. I knocked on the door as I heard Anna's voice boomed from inside of the apartment. "I'm coming!"

I heard the click of the door lock and expected to see Anna, but no, it was her roommate - the, who I observed silently from afar.

_Dude, she's hot._

"Oh, hey there," she greeted me with that raspy voice of hers. She gave me a crooked smile before I muttered a soft hello. Something that you should know about me, when I'm around or speaking to someone that I find attractive, I switch to my autopilot mode – I remained courteous but somewhat aloof. I simply do not blush. I have no clue why I acted the way I acted, it just comes naturally.

Anna's roommate let me into the apartment. As I made my way to the sofa, a realization hit me.

_I find Anna's roommate hot. And she's not a guy. Omigod. _

I decide to blame the article I'm writing about.

"So um, Anna would be out in a second, she's just fixing her hair," Anna's roommate uttered. I took a fleeting glance at her and nodded. Did I mention she was gorgeous? She was just like Anna, a stereotypical East Village artiste. Usually, before the book club starts, she would excuse herself out of the apartment. She never fails to carry an acoustic guitar.

_How can you not swoon over a person carrying a guitar. Never heard her play, but knowing she has one was good enough. _

"Erm, do you want a water or something? A beer?" she asked, the girl had her hands in her jean pockets.

There's one more thing you should know about Anna's roommate. She's extra pleasant to me. And she gets all fidgety when we're the only ones around. That is just something I observed.

"No thank you," I answered with a small smile.

"Oh okay." I swear she sounded upset. "Well, erm, make yourself at home." With that, she turns around and made her way to her room. "Oh, erm, Alex…" she began as I cocked my head to the direction where she stood.

"Yeah?"

"…nevermind…" she waved her hands off. She stood there, I saw her contemplating on something. "…uh, do you like music?"

"Do I like music?" I echoed.

"Yea…" she uttered nervously.

"I guess…" I drawled.

"Oh good, cos' I want to ask-"

Anna cut her off as the spunky blonde made her way to the center of the room. "Hey, Alex. Sorry I kept you waiting, I'm such a bad hostess. First one to arrive as usual." She let out a soft chuckle at her comment.

"No, it's fine. Marissa was being a pretty good hostess."

"She was!?" Anna sounded amused.

"We were having a conversation," I added.

"You were?!" Again, Anna raised her voice. "Marissa was speaking with Alex…" I heard her mumbled to herself. Obviously, it was not soft enough that I could hear.

Anna turned to her roommate who just her a death stare. "What? Oh, sorry." She gave Marissa an apologetic look.

"Erm, I'm just going to head out for some smokes," Marissa said as she starts getting fidgety again. She turned around abruptly.

"You can just smoke here. Why do you have to go out? You've always smoked in the kitchen Marissa," Anna mused.

"Yea…yeah, but I feel like having a cigarette downstairs." The lanky brunette gave her roommate an annoyed expression. The girl hurried into her room and seconds later, she dashed past Anna and I, muttering a quick goodbye before exiting the apartment.

Anna piped, "Excuse her. She has a major crush on you."

_Huh?_

Anna probably caught the shock look on my face as she said, "So you're oblivious of it." She breathed out a sigh. "Ever since the first time Marissa saw you, she told me she harbors a crush on you. But she's too chicken to make a move b'cos she thinks well, a girl who reads romance novels like you doesn't swing that way and oh yeah, you're unattainable."

_Huh?_

"Marissa's intimidated by your beauty. Says she doesn't have the stones to hit on you, something along the lines of you being too gorgeous not to be attached."

I let out a nervous laugh. "I'm not that pretty seriously."

"Seriously, you should go check yourself out in the mirror and do some re-evaluation. Oh, one more thing you should know, Marissa thinks you're just not the type to be hung up on what others think of yourself and that's a good thing. You're her type."

Silence fell between us for a moment as I thought about what Anna just told me. I was right all along, Marissa was just too fidgety around me, and now I have a concrete proof why.

"And Alex, don't tell Marissa I told you this. Keep it to yourself."

&

I bopped my head along to the song as I waited under a shade. When the book club ended thirty minutes ago, I was looking forward to Summer's cookies when I reached home. But no, rain came pouring heavily out of nowhere, and I was left stranded. Left with only one choice, I had to take the cab – but somehow luck was not on my side, not even a single cab had stop.

"So I felt like the biggest asshole," I sang along to the S.O.A.D's song. "Felt like the biggest asshole, when I killed your rock and roll." Who knew I could imitate Daron Malakian's voice. "Mowed down the sexy people…" I trailed off for a while, as I watched another cab drove past. "Damnit." I knew I would have a better chance getting a cab if I were to stand nearer to the side of the road, however, the thought of getting drenched or catching a cold could be pretty sucky.

"Eat all the grass. Eat all the grass that you want. Accidents happen In the dark. Eat all the grass that you want…" I stopped singing midway through the bridge when I felt someone tapped my shoulder. I snapped my head towards the left only to find Marissa giving my a lopsided smile. I saw her mouth moving but due to the loudness of the music blasting into my ears, I could not hear what she was saying.

"I'm sorry, what was it that you've said?" I asked as I took out both sides of the earphones.

Her face broke into a silly smile that I found adorable. "I said, I didn't know you're a metalhead."

"Yea," I started bashfully. "S.O.A.D is hard not to like." My eyes fell to her chest as I noticed the Motorhead imprinted on her graphic tee. "Seems you're a metal fan too." I gestured to her top.

"They're like, one of Britain's foremost heavy metal groups. I dig the trio," she answered. "You familiar with their stuff?"

Without missing a beat I replied, "Ace of Spades is my personal favorite from them."

Marissa chuckled. "Oh wow…I've never would have thought that you listen to such a genre."

"What? You think I'm bubble-gum pop?" I teased, definitely liking the fact that I made her flustered.

"Oh no!" She exclaimed. Then in a softer voice she muttered, "No that. It's just with the clothes you have on, it doesn't scream metal listener."

I arched my brow. "So, I have to dressed like you?"

She shook her head. "No. I like how you look. It's just…well, it's kind of a surprise."

"Is that good or bad?" I probed.

She blushed at my question, staring down at the ground for a moment before lifting her head to meet my gaze. "It's a good surprise. We have something in common."

The smile on my face turned into a frown when I remembered Marissa wanted to ask me something earlier on. "What was it that you were going to ask a while ago back at your apartment?"

"Oh, that…nothing," she waved off. "You wouldn't be interested in it…" Then she changed the topic launching into a new question. "So, why are you standing here?"

"I'm waiting for a cab," I let out a sigh. Before I knew it, Marissa ran into the rain as I called, "What are you doing?"

"Getting you a cab!" she shouted as I saw her raised her arm.

_She's beautiful and considerate. Sweet. _

I smiled at Marissa's thoughtfulness. _"In order to be a better writer, you must go through some experiences. In this case, you need to sleep with a girl." _Hold on, did I just heard Summer's voice in my head? Oh, no. I'm in trouble.

"Hey Alex!" Marissa called. "Your ride home is here." I heard a hint of pride in her tone.

I rushed towards the cab as Marissa opened the door for me, muttering a quick thank you, I slid into the backseat. I waited for Marissa to close the door but instead, she hunched down.

"So um, I have a gig, well, not me but my band, this Thursday night at the Cake Shop on 152 Ludlow. I was thinking, if you'd be interested to watch it?"

_She's in a band. Swoons._

"Um, maybe. I might have something on. I'll try to make it though."

"That'll be great." She gave another crooked smile before closing the door. As I gave the cab driver my address, I saw Marissa waving at me, still standing in the rain.

_The girl's is going to catch a pneumonia. _

&

A/N: This you guessed right?


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"So, is that your girl?" my gawky friend Seth questioned, pointing to the lanky girl at the front and center of the dark-lit space – fixing up her guitar, doing the last minute sound check. I saw Marissa looking up, as if she heard what was said. And with the small distance she stood from us, it would be a surprise if she has not. I felt a blush spread around my face when Marissa instantaneously looked up, momentarily stopped tuning the keys and faced my direction. She gave me her sickeningly sexy lopsided grin.

"Why are all the hot girls turning gay?!" Now that would be my idiotic, insensitive friend Luke almost shouting as the rest of the people in the room turned to stare at us. I flinched at his overly loud voice. _Why did these goons decided to tag along?_ I had a huge urge to slink out of the room and away from my loud, oblivious company and away from the curious onlookers – including Marissa. "Seriously Alex, why are all these smokingly hot girls crushing on you?" _Shut the fuck up Luke._

"And she's not even gay!" Summer remarked. _Oh for fuck-sake. I do used a lot of fuck. Lol._ Now, the thought of kicking Summer in the shins consumed my mind.

"Guys, I think you can get more volume if you use your stomach muscles and expand your diaphragms," I whispered, the sarcasm apparent in my voice.

"WHAT! What was it you've said?" Seth's voice boomed. _Oh kill me. _

"She says something about using stomach muscles and diaphragms in order for us to get more volume!" Summer's voice could sometimes be so irritating – she possesses a high octave.

I felt utterly embarrassed. But do my extravagant, flamboyant, obnoxious friends even know what the word embarrass means?

"What's a diaphragm?" Luke another question, almost yelling. _I doubt it._ _I doubt they know a word embarrass exists. Nah uh. Not in their vocabulary. _

When Marissa's bandmate Kevin announced to the crowd the gig would start in a couple of minutes time, I knew someone in heaven stills loves me. Finally, the three stooges would stop adding distress to me.

"It's almost two minutes in! When is this gig going to start?" _Oh, well, just my luck._

"Yeah!" Luke chimed in.

&

Turns out, Marissa's band was not half bad, In fact, they sounded pretty good – with Kevin singing as he played the keyboards, Marissa backing up the vocals and strumming the guitar, and the shaggy long-haired drummer rounded up the band's sound decently.

As the applause died down, Kevin spoke into the microphone. "This next song is dedicated to the blonde lady standing over there – Alex…" Shit, he pointed his index finger over at me. "…Marissa here wants to say thank you for coming down here tonight," Kevin paused as he looked over to the brunette who stood next to him now looking mortified. He smirked at Marissa's reaction. "…she's too shy to say so. This song goes out to you." Kevin smiled broadly at me as I turned redder by the moment.

A sudden hush came about before Marissa started strumming her guitar, and when she gained a momentum, Kevin joined her with the keyboards while the drummer backed them up.

Leaning into the mic, Kevin sang…

_Can you hear them_

_The helicopters_

_I'm in New York_

_No need for words now_

_We sit in silence_

_You look me_

_In the eye directly_

_You met me_

_I think it's Wednesday_

_The evening_

_The mess we're in_

He crooned in a falsetto, "….and oooh…" While Marissa backed him up, with the low yet melodic voice of hers. "The city sunset over me."

"…and oooh…"

"The city sunset over me."

Kevin continued with the next verse as Marissa kept playing the same chords.

_Night and day_

_I dream of_

_Making love_

_To you now baby_

_Love-making_

_On screen_

_Impossible dream_

_And I have seen_

_The sunrise over the river_

_The freeway_

_Reminding of_

_This mess we're in_

Resting his lips on the mic Kevin hummed, "…oooh oh oooh…"

"The city sunset over me."

"…and oooh…"

"The city sunset over me."

Kevin played his keyboards, but strangely I was simply drawn to Marissa. Somehow, the way she plays the guitar was sensual. Her movements, the way her hair partly covers her face as she strums. I have never felt attracted to anyone like how I was simply attracted to her at that moment. And with the thing Summer said about needing to sleep with a girl to gain experience looming in my head, I was so tempted to take the plunge. I want to know what it feels like.

"What were you wanting," Kevin sang.

"…what was that you wanted," Marissa spoke.

_I just wanna say_

_Don't ever change now baby_

_I'd thank you_

_I don't think we will meet again_

_And you must leave now_

_Before the sun rises_

_Over the skyscrapers_

_And the city landscape comes into view_

_Sweat on my skin_

_Oh_

_This mess we're in_

"…and oooh…"

"The city sunset over me."

"….ah aah ahhh…"

"The city sunset over me."

With that, everyone in the room showed their appreciation, clapping loudly.

"Now, that's worth my six bucks!" Luke exclaimed.

At the corner of my eyes, I noticed Marissa staring at me. When I turned my head to meet her gaze, she quickly looked away as I saw her face flushed.

&

The three stooges and me were hanging out by the bar as Marissa and her bandmates packed up their things.

"Alright, it's my turn," Seth said as he shifted on the stool. "Okay, who said this line…Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?"

I blurted out before Summer got the chance, "Heather Chandler from Heathers!"

"Beep! Perfect score, gold star."

Seth gave me a high-five as Summer whined, "I knew the answer."

I poked out my tongue at her. "Boohoo, sucks for you, I'm faster."

"Well, my turn," Luke piped up before he took a sip of his Corona. "You are a menace. A walking pestilence." _Sounds familiar. _

Before I could even come up with the answer Seth bounced from his seat. Grinning he exclaimed, "Dr. Zaius from Planet of the Apes!"

"Beep! Perfect score."

"You forgot something…"

"Gold star," Luke added as Seth beamed while Summer sat sulking.

"I suck at this game," she complained. "Can we play I never?"

"I'm in!" Seth cried out.

"No!" I shook my head vehemently.

"Why?" Summer faced me, spotting a frown.

I opened my mouth, trying to say something only to have close it again, unable to find a reasonable excuse. I sighed loudly. "Fine, let's play 'I Never',"

"I'll go first." Luke raised his hand. "I never make my own bed."

All for of us took a sip of the beer in our hands.

"Dude, that's lame," I voiced out. "What about…"

Seth chimed in, "Say something dirty Alex." I gave him my pixyish grin.

"…I never shaved down there." Everyone took a sip except Seth. I gave out a loud chuckle. "Dude, you must be bushy down there."

"I believe in being all natural," he answered with pride, chest pumped out.

"Eww…no thanks," Summer stated as she furrowed her brows in displeasure.

"Okay, I never…" Luke paused cocking his head to the side thinking. "…masturbate before."

I blushed before downing another gulp of my beer along with Luke and Seth.

"Eww…Alex, I can't believe you did that," Summer said.

"There's nothing wrong with masturbating," I countered. "You have a deficient libido."

"No. I'm perfectly fine. It's the three of you who are oversexed."

Luke pondered over the idea of a moment before saying smugly, "True."

"I have one," Seth cried out. He opened his mouth about to say something before he halted for a moment. "…I never had a hot lead guitarist of a band crushing over me."

"Huh?" the three of us responded. Seth smiled as he pointed his finger towards someone behind me. We turned around to see a shy-smiling Marissa standing behind me.

"Oh," Summer uttered before facing me. Giving me the knowing grin. I stared back at her, perplexed.

"I think they're waiting for you to take a sip," Marissa quipped, her mouth tugging to the side forming a crooked smile. One that I found irresistible.

"Oh…" I let out quietly. "Oh." Finally, the realization hit me. _Yeah, I could be slow at times. _Sheepishly, I took a small sip.

"Um, erm, can I have a moment with you?" Once again, I saw the same flustered looking Marissa with her hands in her jeans pocket, giving me a hopeful look.

"I'm calling it a night, Alex. Goodbye." Summer said abruptly. "Come one boys, you're calling it a night too."

"We are?" Luke questioned. "Oh, yes…yes, I have an early morning tomorrow." He stood up from his seat mirroring Summer's movement.

"I'm leaving too. I have nothing to do, but I feel like leaving." Seth gave Marissa a grin. "Your band rocks." The brunette standing closely behind me smiled and said her thanks.

"Yeah, worth my six bucks," Luke agreed while Summer look annoyed.

"Alright. Enough with your six bucks Luke. We're leaving." She roughly pushed the boys as she passed me smiling. "This is your chance," my BFF whispered to me. I gave her a horrified expression. I thought Summer was done, but no, she had to do something - embarrassing me. As Marissa took a seat next to me, Summer tapped her shoulder.

"Alex has a fetish for guitar-strumming musician." She gave Marissa a wink as I hid my face with my hand. "It was nice to meet you Marissa."

"Likewise, erm…"

"Summer." With that, she was gone. I breathed out a relief. Marissa saw my action and grinned.

"Those are my friends," I started.

"I like them."

"Yeah, well, they could be a handful at times."

Marissa chuckled. "I reckon. So…" Before she managed to finished her sentence, Marissa blushed, scratching her head. "Uh…" She let out another chuckle. _Cute._

"Yeah…" I probed, giving the poor girl a smile.

"Doyouwanttogooutonadatewithme?" she blurted out. I found it hard to understand what she has said.

"What?"

She gulped. Slowly she repeated, "Do you want to…urm, go out on a date with me?"

"_This is your chance." _Somehow, I heard my BFF's voice in my head.

"I'm free Saturday night." Yes, I'm winging it.

Marissa looked relieved. "Great. I'm free on that night too." She played the hem of her tee shirt. "So erm, I know a good vegetarian place-"

I cut her off. "How did you know I'm a vegetarian?"

She gave me a bashful expression. "Anna let it slipped once."

"Ah…"

"Actually, I forced it out of her."

&

"What does it taste like?" I asked as my boss/friend Rachael took another bite of her spaghetti meatball.

"Wha does wha taste like," she spoke with her mouth full.

I glanced around the dining area before leaning closer to Rachael. With a soft voice, I questioned, "Y'know, the moist area between the legs?"

Rachael's eyes almost bulged out of its sockets. She started coughing. "What?! Why are you asking me that question?"

"Because you've tasted the moist area between the legs before."

"And why do you referring it as the moist area?"

"Because it's moist," I stated the obvious. I arched my brow. "So, how does it taste?" Rachael frowned. "Does it taste like fish? Like tuna or mackerel?"

"What?! No! What makes you think it's like that?"

"I don't know. I'm just guessing. Oh wait, does it taste salty?"

"Alex…" Rachael dragged out my name. "Why do you want to know?"

"Because I have a date tomorrow night…"

"So?"

"With a girl," I finished. _Hmm,_ _I sound proud._

&

A/N: The song used is 'The Mess We're In' by P J Harvey feat. Thom Yorke. There are few lines I drew inspiration from some movies, can you spot them?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"I've never been here," I said as Marissa push the French door and step- aside, motioning me to enter the bakery.

"That's always a first time. You should frequent here often the food is really good. It's not a full-fledged vegan place, but they sat aside a separate line of cookies and muffin that's animal-product-free. So…it caters to both of us," she gave me a slightly smug smile.

We walked down the aisle past people indulging in the food they've ordered. I followed Marissa, where she led me to the corner of the eatery, we decided on a two-seater table that was further from the other patrons.

"So…what's good?" I questioned, eager to eat. My stomach just grumbled.

She pondered for a moment before answering my question, "You should go for the banana-sesame-agave cake, and it is the hot seller here."

"Uhm sounds delicious. Have you tasted it?"

Marissa zoned out for a while staring at my face with her doe-eyes. Then seconds later she snapped out of it. She coughed. "Sorry. What was it that you've asked?"

I gave her a smirk, noticing how her face turned crimson. "The banana-sesame cake, have you tried it?"

"Oh!" She answered slightly louder than what I had expected. "It's crunchy outside and tender within, crunchy, chewy, and barely sweet. It's perfect." I can't help but smile at how excited she sounded. It's too cute for words. "Shall we?" I nodded before raising myself off the seat. Marissa rose from her seat, gesturing with her right hand, telling me head to the counter first. She trailed closely behind me.

While we waited for our turn, I noticed out of the corner of my eyes, how Marissa opened her mouth to speak, before deciding against it, closing her mouth. She did it again and again. Finally, I heard her utter something but she halted when it was our turn to order. She slumped in defeat as I ordered two pieces of those dense puck-shaped banana-sesame cake thingies and a bottle of Perrier. She asked for the same things, though she wanted two pieces more than me.

&

I felt an adrenaline rush as Marissa rode her sporty, red Aprilia motorbike, past the aisle of cars caught in a traffic jam. I snaked my arms around her waist tighter and leaned in closer to her while she maneuvered her bike for a right turn at the traffic junction.

At first, when I found out she plays the guitar, I thought she was hot. Then, she surprised me yet again, when she told me she's in a band. Seriously, she couldn't get any hotter than that? And now that I found out she has a flashy red ride; I'm simply gaga over her. She could be just the girl who could turn my fantasy into reality. _There I admitted it, I want to delve into the unknown. I couldn't resist my temptation any longer. Lol. Especially with the numbness I felt in the moist region between my legs, due to the ride._

I observed how the girl slowed down before halting to a stop near the curb. I took off the helmet, wiped the tiny beads of perspiration that formed near my hairline. "Thanks for the ride," I spoke in my best throaty voice, and I was pleased to noticed how the lanky girl tensed up.

"Hmm…sure. You're welcomed," she stuttered. Although, her voice was muffled as Marissa has yet to take off her helmet, I could hear how shaky her reply was. Finally, she took her helmet off and raked her fingers into her sandy-colored mane.

I decided to tease her. Leaning in close, I whispered into her left ear making sure my voice was kept low, "Do you want to accompany me up to my apartment?" I paused for a while, "See, there's this burly man with a beer belly on my floor…" _He does not exist. _"…And he scares me sometimes, moreover, my roommate is out partying…so…I'm desperate."

Yet again, Marissa became flustered; she scratched her head, tilting it to the side, hiding the blush that had creep on her face.

"Please…" _Am I purring?!_

"How could I say no." _Aww…sweet._ She showed me her quirky one-sided smile. "Just, give me a five seconds to park my bike."

"Sure," I gave her my winning smile – the one that hardly anyone could resist. I hopped off the bike while I started counting in my head. When Marissa just got off her bike, I said, "Five second's up."

"Huh? Oh," Marissa emitted a low chucked once she realized I was joking. "Give me another twenty."

&

We strolled till the end of the hallway. I stopped in front of my apartment's door. "So, we're here." I turned to face her, showing her a sweet smile. "Thanks for accompanying me."

She had her hands in her dark jeans pocket. "It's no big."

"Marissa," I started. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure!" She answered too quickly, too loudly.

I simply smirked at her reaction while she turned two shades red. "Why are you always so nervous around me?" I did not know it was possible, but, I may be exaggerating, Marissa's face became redder by the second.

"Erm…uh, I guess, I don't know…" she scratched the back of her head. "…You make me nervous, I guess."

"And why's that?" I probed. _Evil._

She fidgeted, producing a nervous giggle. "Ah...erm, because you're uh, hot." What happened next made me dumfounded. Marissa swiftly leaned forward before placing a quick kiss on my lips. It occurred so fast, it took a while for me to be conscious off that. _Oh my fucking god! One of my fantasies turned real-life, the kiss that I have been yearning for. _I kept blinking my eyes as I stood mouth-agape, just as about I tried to utter something, and I saw the determined glint in her eyes. And once again she took advantaged of my parted lips, placing her palms on my cheeks and cupping my face, slowly she let her lips descend on mine. Our lips moved in sync, unhurriedly, sensually as I felt my hands roamed upwards only to stop at the taller girl's neck, as I twined my arms around it. I savored the feel of her soft lips, how her right hand moved from its place on my cheek and wandered over to my arm, giving me goose bumps with her lingering touches. Needing air, we part our lips.

Marissa's face was flushed. She kept on a shy smile as I heard her saying, "I had a really good time tonight."

"Me too. Tonight has been great." Marissa bit her lips and grew more bashful by the second. "So…this is it then," I drawled as Marissa nod her head. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," she repeated. Marissa turned around and ambled along the hallway. Smiling, I fetched for my keys in my leather tote, placing the key into the hole, when I heard the clink sound, I turned to knob of the door. I was about to enter before I heard Marissa calling for me from the hallway.

"Hey Alex!" I cocked my head.

"Yeah?"

"Do you uh, erm…I'll call you soon for uh, a second date?"

My face broke into a wide grin. "Sure. Call me and we'll have it scheduled." I gave Marissa a wave, "Goodnight."

&

Five days later, we went for our second date. Had a blast and before you know it, we had our third just after a couple of days. You could say we moved pretty fast but I can't help it, Marissa can be so addictive. I have an intense feeling of loss or lack and longing for her. I know this sounds cliché but, it is true, I have never felt this strong for someone before, let alone a woman. Then again, there is a first for everything.

On our second date, Marissa confessed that she lied on our first date. When I asked her what, she told me and I quote, "I lied…I've never been to that bakery I took you too and I, uh, it was my first time having that banana-sesame cake. I read a review online, and I memorized the description of the cake…" And when I asked her why she did that, she told me, "I don't know, uh, actually I know. I uh, I want to impress you." And impress me, she did. She went through such length to please me on our first date, why could I resist that, it's too sweet of her.

"Ouch," Marissa let out when her knee hit the edge of the table as we stumbled our way into my apartment. I broke my lips from hers. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," she nodded her head before closing the gap between us, Marissa leaned in to plant a kiss that I gladly reciprocated. The sweet kiss lingered as the she brought her hands to the sides of my face. The situation escalated when I felt Marissa probing her tongue, asking me for entrance. I parted my lips wide enough her to slip her tongue. A moan past my lips as Marissa moved her velvety tongue against mine. We kissed for long moments as if we were starved for the taste of each other, but it wasn't enough to ease the hunger and it was evident when Marissa ran her hands upwards against my ribs, brunching the material of the top.

Knowing that could not resist Marissa any longer, I pulled out of the kiss breathless. "Take me."

Marissa looked taken-aback as she breathed out, "What?"

Firmly I repeated, "Take me."

"But, it's only our third date and I, don't want to take advantage of you. We could just stop here. I want you to be ready, and not be forced into something," she reasoned, caressing my face gently. "I can wait."

Shaking my head I replied, "You don't have too, I'm ready. I want you, and I can't refrain anymore. And I know you felt the same, so…ergo?" And soon she crashed her lips on mine as I slinked my arms around her neck. My hands reached for the hem of her white tee shirt and tugging it off her head before tossing it aside. I marveled at her body for a while before Marissa decided to kiss her way along my jawline, and moved south sensuously, placing light, airy kisses along the length of my neckline. She took my top off as I assisted her, flinging the material aside and soon began attacking my neck again.

And what happened next, I will leave that to your imagination. Jeez, my sex life is private. _Pervs_.

A/N: The Rachel in this story is not from IMAY, but it's a recurring characters with a 6-episode story arc in season 1 of The OC, played by Bonnie Sommerville. Just for info, the next update would be the last chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

_3 months later_

I knocked on the door to make my presence known. Rachael, who immersed herself with a magazine she was reading, lifted her head as I questioned, "You called for me?" I raised my eyebrow.

She gestured me over to the seat placed in front of her desk. "Please, have a seat," she said in the tone she often used when she wants to talk business. I placed myself on the plush seat. Rachael waved to me the magazines she held in her hands. "This goes on newsstands tomorrow." She reached for a new copy that was lying next to the stack of files. "Thought you might you want a copy, after all, it contains that little eye-opening article you've wrote that entitled you to a promotion," she finished of nonchalantly.

My eyes almost bulged out off its sockets. "Are you serious? Get out!" I snapped the magazine from my boss's hand. Frantically, I flipped through the pages till I saw the bold headline printed in pink 'Gaga Over A Girl'.

Rachael began reading the first paragraph on the continuing page of the article, "Bonnie, 34, came across a huge revelation with regards to her sexuality when she was an intern at a publishing company. She recalled being smitten with her supervisor, _'She would wear the most well fitted power suits and she's so successful and eloquent. It was incredibly sexy. Whenever I past her office I would envision us being engaged in a very heated work-related discussion after which, it would eventually leads to one of us pushing everything off her desk and the two of us would be getting it on right there on her desk.'_ Hmm…" she trailed off with a smirk. "…Now everyone knows my coming-out story."

"But I used a fake name so I don't think anyone would know it's you." I gave her a pixyish grin, "Your secret is safe with me," I winked.

"So, what did it taste like fish?"

"What tastes like fish?"

Rachael raised her brows. "I'm assuming the story at the beginning is based on your very own experience. Seriously, as if I wouldn't know whose account it was when you mentioned _'serial dater during her college years'_…" she trailed off with a knowing grin. "And how did you came up with the name Anna Mariya anyway? Sounds eastern European."

"I kid you not, my parents almost decided on that name for me instead of Alexandra."

"But, but, but, what I'm very curious to know is your take on the moist area between the legs. What did it tasted like?"

I gave a general answer, "I'm sure everyone's taste is unique. But no, it was nothing fishy. Although, I think mine's probably tastes like salted vegetables –since you know my diet and all, it only makes sense to have the a similar flavor."

&

"Are you planning on telling her?"

I stared at Summer, perplexed. "Tell who, what?" My voice came out muffled since I was sucking on a lollipop.

She gave me the _duh_ expression. "Marissa? The article?! Alex, you need to come clean!"

"Yes! You should, after all you did kind of used her Alex," Seth interjected a remark. "I would majorly be pissed if I find out that Luke used me for a gay experience."

"Hey!" My sandy-haired friend exclaimed. "Watch it. I'm all man dude. Doesn't mean I wear pink and purple shirts makes me a queer!"

"Jesus! It's just an example. Don't get so testy. You're so fucking sensitive at times." Seth pushed his trolley to the shelves on the left before picking up a can of Campbell Soup.

I looked through the massive selection of pasta sauce randomly. "It's not that she reads those kind of magazines."

"But you still have to tell her the truth Alex." Summer stayed firm of her stance. "It's the least you owe her."

I decided against denying the idea. "You think I don't know that?! I'm just afraid what if she up and leave when she knows the truth."

"Alex, this is Marissa we're talking about," Seth began. "Remember, the hot lead guitarist of a band that digs you so much! The one that tries to impress you remember? She's head over heels for you, she won't leave you."

"I don't think you have to worry about that," Luke commented. "Granted she'll get upset over it, but she'll be fine shortly."

Summer reached for my arm. "Hey, trust us over this matter alright. It's better to tell her the truth now rather then she finds out on her own. Okay?"

"And even if she decides to break up with you, so what, you'll find you a new lesbian.' Seth shrugged off.

"I don't want anyone else. I want my Marissa!"

"My Marissa?!" Luke chortled. "Dude, gag me with a spoon cause I'm about to barf!" She did his best valley-speak. Summer leaned over and swatted the back of his head. "Oww…"

"You'll still be with _your Marissa_," Summer comforted me, caressing my arm.

Luke cracked up again. "Gets me every time you repeat _my Marissa _or _your Marissa_."

Summer raised her voice, "Do you want to taste the pain Luke? Because I can bring it! I'm going to bring it some bad, you hear?"

&

Marissa walked towards our table with two frappuccino on both hands and her trademark quirky smile that she kept plastered on her face. She placed my drink on my side of the table. "Here is your mocha frappuccino. Enjoy, it's my treat." She gave a low chuckled and added in a goofy smile. She took a sip of hers before asking, "So, what's the important thing you want to talk about." She said in a half-joking tone. "Because I have something to discuss with you too."

"Why don't you start off first." She opened her mouth to object but I interrupt, "Please, I insist."

Marissa nodded her head. "Okay." She reached over for my hands and held it in hers, caressing the skin near my thumbs. "I was thinking of buying a new scooter for us. I know you like my bike, but I think with the economic downturn and the increase of petroleum prices, we should downgrade to a scooter. I've already given this a lot of thinking, I still feel you'll look cute on it. You looking cute on my ride is my utmost priority so, I was thinking that you could accompany me down to the showroom for a test ride. I want to see how cute you'll look on it."

"Whatever you think it's good for us by all means, I'm alright with it."

"Really? Because I don't want to feel pressured into it."

"Riss, you're not pressuring me," I assured her.

"Great. So that's settled. What do you want to talk about."

I let out a heavy sigh as I tracked back my hands from Marissa's grasp.

She saw how somber I appeared. "Okay, did someone just died?" She joked trying to lighten the moment. And when I still showed her my grim face she asked, "Omigod, who died?"

I fished for the magazine in my satchel bag ignoring Marissa. I slide it over to her side of the table. She gave a chuckle when she saw the magazine. "Alex, I know you're a good writer and everything, and you work for a reputable company but I no often I just don't read girly magazines."

"Turn to page 64," I replied gravely.

"Okay…" she trailed off flipping the pages. "Oh, here we are, page 64…" Marissa glanced at me before reading the bold headline, "Gaga Over a Girl. Hey, you wrote this," referring to my name on the byline. I watched how her faced clouded into a frown as she skimmed the article.

"Marissa…"

She held up her hand and showed her palm to my face. Her eyes narrowed into a slit. "Why did you showed me that?"

I ran my fingers through my hair huffing out a breath. "So…I had an assignment and…I don't know how to explain it clearly-"

Marissa cut me off, "Well try to."

I nodded. "I…you…well, uh," I emitted a nervous giggle. "The thing is, don't get me wrong, when I said yes to going out on a date with you, it's really because I like you and not because of my assignment and…" I rambled. "…I have genuine feelings for you, you weren't a study or something. Well maybe, I had an ulterior motive but hey, I still with you right?" I fiddled with my fingers hoping for the best, and that Marissa would not blow up.

"I'm your lesbian testdrive," she said, her voice soft and restrained.

"No you're not." I tried to grasp her hands but Marissa snatched it back.

She repeated louder and clearly this time around. "I'm your lesbian testdrive." She gave me a disbelief stare. "A testdrive?!" She exclaimed as I involuntarily winced at her overtly loud voice. She stood up, hovering over me. "Seriously! I'm your fucking lesbian TESTDRIVE!" By then everyone in the café was aware of Marissa's blowup – she became the centre of attraction.

"Oh! Wow! Gee, did anyone else see that coming?" she addressed the other patrons. "I know I didn't" Marissa went to the middle of the room. She raised her hand. "Okay, who here has been a victim of a lesbian testdrive? Has anyone here been test-driven before?" No one raised his or her hands. "Okay, who here has been made a fool, y'know given your all, everything invested to please someone that you're fallen in love with?!"

I sunk deeper into my seat.

"No one?! Well I have!" She continued with her rant walking down the aisle of tables, commanding everyone's attention. "See, I'm so in love with someone. But little did I know, she made use of me!" Marissa let out a mirthless laugh. "I mean, I tried so hard to impress her and win her over and I did! I did. But, now, out of nowhere and I didn't see this coming in a million years, she told me that she had a piece of work which required her to tell women's accounts with their respective lesbian encounters. The funny thing is I became a subject. Hah. She used me." Marissa twirled around to face me. "Why did you do used me Alex?" Marissa repeated, her voice broken. I lifted my head up and stared at her dolefully.

"I did not," I defended, pleaded. "Marissa, I never meant to hurt you. I've never meant to cause you this much pain and if I did, I'm sorry." I felt my eyes watered. I rose to my feet as I trudged forward to Marissa. I reached for her hand only to be rebuffed. But that did not deterred me, I was adamant to get _my Marissa_ back. "I don't know what I'm suppose to say to make it all better. I just don't. All I know is I need you, and I don't want a life without you. Marissa…I need you, can't you see that?" Her anger faltered. "We've been together for three months and never once did I freaked out or wanted to back out of this relationship. Summer's been complaining because I spent too much time you with, can't you see what you mean to me Marissa?"

Marissa wiped the tears that had fallen down her cheeks with the back of her hand. Finally she muttered, "I love you…of course I could see what you've done for me."

I reached over for her and this time, she allowed me too. "I love you too…and I'm sorry," I let out sincerely. "You can punish me all you want-"

"No, I don't want to punish you." Marissa cupped my face. "I love you too much to do that." I have never been happier to see the lopsided grin adorned on her face. "Silly you." And before I could come up with a comeback Marissa closed the gap as she gravitated forward for a kiss. I returned it with the same fervor, savoring the feel of her soft lips, her unique scent and her gentle caresses.

We broke apart with similar sheepish looks on our face when the café erupted with whistles and hollers. "That's so fucking hot!" I hid my face in the crook of her neck.

&

_A week later_

"I'm sorry."

Marissa gave a small chuckle. "You've already said that for like, the hundredth time."

I let out a heavy sigh as I cuddled in closer to _my Marissa_. "I don't think it's enough though." I kissed Marissa's slender neck as my girlfriend (I think it's the first time I acknowledged her as that) reciprocates with a gentle, sweet peck on my head, inhaling floral scent of my shampoo. "I don't think it'll ever be enough. What I did…was not good. I kind of used you, to put it mildly."

"Alex, I have my resolve face. You know what that means right?" she pointed an index finger on to her face as I rolled my eyes. "That means this matter is dealt with, I've forgiven you so don't bring it up again and start apologizing. I'm sick and tired of hearing 'sorry'."

"Alright fine!" I said in mock annoyance. Marissa's mouth twitched to form a crooked grin when she caught on my playful tone.

Marissa leaned over for another kiss. I smiled into the kiss gladly reciprocating it. Our lips lingered against each other's for a moment before I grudgingly broke away while the girl below me groaned in annoyance.

"Later babe." I gave her a puckish grin before getting out of the bed. "I have a bookclub to attend to, remember?."

Marissa stretch languidly, and sat up before reaching for my romance novel on the nightstand. She huffed. "Can't believe you're still going to that stupid bookclub meeting," she paused staring at the cover of the book, "Fantasy Lover?! You're going to a meeting to discuss this junk?! Rather than spending time with me?" She shook her head. "You've disappointed me Alex."

"Hey! If it weren't for that quote unquote stupid bookclub, you would not have met me in the first place. And for your information, Fantasy Lover is smart read."

She scoffed, then started flipping through the pages before stopping at one randomly. She cleared her throat. "Let's see how 'smart' this novel is." I saw her scanned the words. "_Julian stood as still as a statue as she ran her hands over his skin, raising chills all the way through him. No she wasn't going to make it easy at all_," she broke in between with a giggle before continuing, "…_He felt her fumble with his button and fly. Grace, he said, pulling her hands away. Hmm? She asked, her eyes dark with hunger_," she tried to sound serious but failed miserably. "_She left him and climbed into the bed. Julian sucked his breath in sharply at the sight of her bare bottom through the sheer negligee_." She burst out laughing uncontrollably. "What is this crap? Erotica?!"

I fought for the book, snatching it from her grasps as Marissa tried to fight me off.

"I'm not finished," she complained.

"You're done mocking me." Rolling my eyes, I turned away but before I could start moving, I felt Marissa engulfed me in a hug. She leaned against my back, whispering, "I love you."

"I love you too."

&

THE END

A/N: Just want to say thank you for reading and reviewing this story, it really meant a lot to me. And just a small note, the whole chunk in italic is lifted off the novel Fantasy Lover.


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